Bury Your Head

Fuck this. I cause you too much pain, too much distress. What can I do to help you? What must I do? I want to help you so badly.

I wish I wasn’t so tired every night. I wish I didn’t have to run. I wish I wouldn’t doze off at the computer screen. It hurts me just as much to say goodbye to you every night. I fucking hate the feeling when I wake up next morning, feeling empty, with only the prospect of another day at work to look foward to.

Not forgetting to mention the other prospect of having to summon all my will power to drag myself to the running track, when all I want to do is to sit back and relax after another long day at work. But I tell myself I have to, because I’m doing it for you. But when dusk falls, and I’m eagerly waiting for you in front of my computer screen, the day’s exertions take their toll on me and I’m so exhausted I can hardly stay awake.

So is what I’m doing for you really right?

I’m not sure. I don’t know. All I know is that I miss you like hell, my love. All I want is to be with you.

~ by Thomson ❤ Rachel on July 8, 2009.