(EVERYONE, except Rachel, is allowed to read this!)

MY GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET FOR HER! HELP! ANY IDEAS? DROP YOUR SUGGESTIONS IN MY COMMENTS! Thank you (:

Today was totally WICKED! Not just cuz it’s Wednesday, also known as Wickedday in the Rachel and Thomson’s spe shuhhhhlest dictionary, but also cuz I got to spend time with spe shuhhhhlest girl and had a birthday celebration with my family in advanceeeee.

Haha two free meals todayyy. For lunch, spe shuhhhhhlest girl treated me to Da Paolo’s lasagne which wasn’t really nice, but thanks a million anyways! I love youuuuu (:

(LEONA SZETO YI JIA, YOU FLOWER FACE! I’M NOT A SINNER FOR DISLIKING THEIR LASAGNE)

Oh! While spe shuhhhlest girl and I were having lunch, we suddenly became aware of an old man trying to start up his poor old motorcycle which kept sputtering! Hahaha. He tried for about 20 times and it was really funny but you had to feel for the old man as well. Haha. He was kinda pitiful, stuck there trying to get his motorcycle to move. And you gotta admire his persistance! After like 30 tries, he stopped and look tired and frustrated and was either mumbling something to himself, or talking to his bike. Hahaha. Poor old man. After that, he tried about another 20 times or so, and suddenly his bike started up! YAYYYY! Haha we were so happy for the old man X)

For dinner, my family and my aunt, uncles, cousins, etc, went to Bliss Restaurant which served really awesomeeeeeeee food. I ate many many. I had fish and chips, onion rings, ESCARGOT (Sorry Rachel, I ATE SNAILY WAILYS!), 2 servings of criss cut friesssss, chocolate milkshake, a beer and of cuz, birthday cakeeee. Hmmmm, and I’m hungry now! Hahaha. Eat eat eat eat eat. I love food. Oh and, HOEGAARDEN is a really awesome beer.

Got nice prezzies too. Thanks everyone! But I really have to thank my sister, Wendy, for putting in so much effort into my present. She made a t-shirt for me by herself and spent many many days on it. Thank you so much sis! I love you (:

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I miss you and can’t wait to be in your arms again, spe shuhhhhlest girl..

I love you, Rachel.

News Headline: PEDOPHILIC LAWYER CAUGHT WHILE VIEWING CHILD PORN IN TOILET

69 year old pedophilic lawyer, Connor Sonson was caught today by the Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises (TMNT) for watching child porn and underhand dealings.

Connor Sonson, whose real name is Richard “handjob” Handy, had been caught by TMNT agents Rachel Tai, Soh Thomson and Leona Szeto who all had been working undercover.

The police had been tracking Richard “handjob” Handy for weeks and found out that he was working as lawyer in his very own law firm, Son & Son Lawyers. However they were unable and unsuccessful in infiltrating the law firm to apprehend the bastard.

The incompetent police force then decided to hire vigilantes, the crime fighting Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises.

The TMNT came out with an elaborate plan. Agent Soh Thomson infringed the image rights of Mr. Hendrickson Cheong and Mr. Dennis Lee on purpose, who were both clients of Connor Sonson. This was a ploy to lure Mr Connor Sonson into representing his clients and negotiate a deal with agent Rachel Tai.

Agent Rachel Tai, undercover as agent Soh Thomson’s lawyer, asked Mr Connor Sonson to settle the matter outside of court, offering him a six month free child pornography subscription courtesy of her client. Connor Sonson then sent a formal reply, reminding her that child pornography is not only morally erroneous, it is also highly illegal and urged her to cease this debauchery immediately.

The horny bastard though, then chatted with the agent in a chat room under his chat room screen name CONEBONE69, and demanded three 1-year subscriptions for child pornography to settle the matter outside of court or he’ll sue.

Agent Rachel Tai having obtained proof, decided to bust the mofo. But when the TMNT reached his office, they found it empty. Just before leaving though, Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoise agent Leona Szeto Yi Jia, needed to use the toilet desperately. When she opened the door of the office toilet, she found Connor Sonson, jerking himself off to child porn. The TMNT then apprehended the pedophile.

In court, Richard “handjob” Handy, aka Connor Sonson admitted to 696969 counts of watching child pornography with a fetish for bears and was sentenced to eleventy thousand godzillian hours of community service, cleaning old folks home toilets. We hope he won’t get Gerontophilia there. Hahaha.

The police force would like to send their thanks to the Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises. Police Chief Harry Lee KY said, “GREAT SUCCESS! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! I mean Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises! Fighting crime, trying to save the world! Oh wait that’s the theme song for Powerpuff Girls, my favourite show.. I meant, fighting climb, trying to sieve the whirl! TMNT motto! Remember to vote for PAP!”

(FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT, READ MY PREVIOUS BLOG POST COMMENTS. LINK IS BELOW)

Where Myth Fades To Legend