(EVERYONE, except Rachel, is allowed to read this!)

MY GIRLFRIEND’S BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO GET FOR HER! HELP! ANY IDEAS? DROP YOUR SUGGESTIONS IN MY COMMENTS! Thank you (:

Perhaps next year we can go see the fireworks together.

Well hello, hello. HAPPY NATIONAL PROPAGANDA DAY everyone! My last day of my school semester was just over. I’m just left with my exams now. Yay! Not.

Anyways, I couldn’t have gotten thru my school days and nights without a really, really spe shuhhhhhh girl (:

So here are 50 things about her!

1.     Rachel is my spe shuhhhhhhhhhlest, dearest girl! ❤

2.     Her spe shuhhhhlest boy, Soh Thomson, loves her very much (:

3.     Rachel est ma raison d’être!

4.     Rachel has a song written for her by yours truly entitled “Raison D’être”!

5.     Most of the songs I write are for Rachel (:

6.     I POSSESS RACHEL’S BOTTOM!

7.     Rachel POSSESSES MY BOSOM (which belongs to Leona now).

8.    Rachel has just gained possession of my right hand too. My right hand is her property now. But I don’t mind cuz I wanna hold Rachel’s hand foreverrrrrrr (:

9.    Rachel wants my right hand because I once met and shook the hand of Michael James Way from the band My Chemical Romance!

10.  I just lost a bet to Rachel and now my left hand is hers to hold too!

11.  Rachel is my boogie girl, I’m her cootie boy!

12.  Rachel is the keeeeeeeeyoooootest girl in a pink puffy jacket!

13.  Rachel’s birthday is on the 13^th of April!

14.  Rachel hates eating eggs!

15.  Rachel hates durians!

16.  Rachel can’t eat oranges or kiwi cuz she’s allergic to citric acid.

17.  As you can see, Rachel is a picky eater, just like me. Hahaha.

18.  Rachel is left handed! Just like me when I was young! I’m right handed now.

19.  Rachel lived in Shanghai when she was young but her Chinese is no match compared to mine, for I am Mr Chinesey Spellcheck!

20.  Rachel though, is Miss Spellcheck! She corrects my spelling and grammatical errors all the time!

21.  Rachel has a horrible brother, who she really hates.

22.  Rachel’s ambition when she was young was to be a taxidermist!

23.  Rachel is an artist and draws very well!

24.  Rachel has like a godzillian favourite quotes all by me!

25.  I have a godziliian favourite quotes by Rachel too!

26.  Rachel is the grandmistress who I have to fan many times a day.

27.  Rachel like me, believes in two religions. She is a Pastafarian and also in the religious group Llamaism.

28.  Rachel has bunnies which her mom has tried to kill many times unsuccessfully.

29.  There’s a communist guy who stalks Rachel in school almost everyday. I get so jealous healous. I wish I could stop him ):

30.  Rachel likes sexy cars like Lamborghinis and Audis.

31.  Rock music is Rachel’s hot hot sex.

32.  Rachel feels REFRESHED after peeing.

33.  Rachel is the one who made me start wishing at 11:11 with her

34.  Rachel can read my mind many a times.

35.  Rachel is the girlie birdie that flies into my bathroom whenever I’m showering and poops on my head.

36.  Rachel has a Mac laptop that hates my Dell laptop.

37.  Rachel used to be my daughter named Katie who killed her daddy.

38.  Rachel just spent $1800 shopping today!

39.  Rachel stays up late at night to chat with me and we almost never get enough sleep, but it doesn’t matter cuz the scientists say people in love need less sleep!

40.  Rachel can play the violin

41.  The first time I went out with Rachel she made me wear a hair band at a girlie shop. I wear my hair band everyday now.

42.  I am Godzilla, Rachel is Japan!

43.  Rachel and Thomson can’t spend much time nowadays cuz of school work. We have to go to Nerdtopia and become nerd boy and nerd girl.

44.  But then when they are done, they escape to spe shuhhhhlest lands where they are the spe shuhhhlest boy and spe shuhhhlest girl.

45.  Rachel likes going to the dentist!

46.  Rachel has nice fingernails.

47.  Rachel likes to go “lalalalala!”

48.  More recently she likes to go “do re mi thom son lalala sohhhhh!”

49.  She is supposed to sing that for me the next time we go out X)

50.  Rachel’s mother said to her “DEATH BY DURIAN!”

For Rachel’s list about “50 THINGS ABOUT SOH THOMSON” click on the link below (:

http://www.xanga.com/cryoncue/669493826/50-things-about-soh-thomson-dong-sheng.html

News Headline: PEDOPHILIC LAWYER CAUGHT WHILE VIEWING CHILD PORN IN TOILET

69 year old pedophilic lawyer, Connor Sonson was caught today by the Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises (TMNT) for watching child porn and underhand dealings.

Connor Sonson, whose real name is Richard “handjob” Handy, had been caught by TMNT agents Rachel Tai, Soh Thomson and Leona Szeto who all had been working undercover.

The police had been tracking Richard “handjob” Handy for weeks and found out that he was working as lawyer in his very own law firm, Son & Son Lawyers. However they were unable and unsuccessful in infiltrating the law firm to apprehend the bastard.

The incompetent police force then decided to hire vigilantes, the crime fighting Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises.

The TMNT came out with an elaborate plan. Agent Soh Thomson infringed the image rights of Mr. Hendrickson Cheong and Mr. Dennis Lee on purpose, who were both clients of Connor Sonson. This was a ploy to lure Mr Connor Sonson into representing his clients and negotiate a deal with agent Rachel Tai.

Agent Rachel Tai, undercover as agent Soh Thomson’s lawyer, asked Mr Connor Sonson to settle the matter outside of court, offering him a six month free child pornography subscription courtesy of her client. Connor Sonson then sent a formal reply, reminding her that child pornography is not only morally erroneous, it is also highly illegal and urged her to cease this debauchery immediately.

The horny bastard though, then chatted with the agent in a chat room under his chat room screen name CONEBONE69, and demanded three 1-year subscriptions for child pornography to settle the matter outside of court or he’ll sue.

Agent Rachel Tai having obtained proof, decided to bust the mofo. But when the TMNT reached his office, they found it empty. Just before leaving though, Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoise agent Leona Szeto Yi Jia, needed to use the toilet desperately. When she opened the door of the office toilet, she found Connor Sonson, jerking himself off to child porn. The TMNT then apprehended the pedophile.

In court, Richard “handjob” Handy, aka Connor Sonson admitted to 696969 counts of watching child pornography with a fetish for bears and was sentenced to eleventy thousand godzillian hours of community service, cleaning old folks home toilets. We hope he won’t get Gerontophilia there. Hahaha.

The police force would like to send their thanks to the Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises. Police Chief Harry Lee KY said, “GREAT SUCCESS! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! I mean Thomson Mutant Nylon Tortoises! Fighting crime, trying to save the world! Oh wait that’s the theme song for Powerpuff Girls, my favourite show.. I meant, fighting climb, trying to sieve the whirl! TMNT motto! Remember to vote for PAP!”

(FOR THOSE WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THIS POST IS ABOUT, READ MY PREVIOUS BLOG POST COMMENTS. LINK IS BELOW)

Where Myth Fades To Legend

Spot the difference: Dennis Lee and Hendrickson Cheong

Spot the difference: Adam Ferguson and Soh Thomson

Oh and this is going out to Leona, I do not look like a girly man who likes twinks! Blearhhhughh!

And to Rachel.. PLEASE SAY I DO NOT LOOK LIKE PAUL TWOHILL! Pretty pleaseeeeeeeee, spe shuhhh girl?

Sunlight warms my face only in dreams of you
I know you’ll wait for me…it’s been too long
Beautiful eyes. beautiful lies to dull the pain
Beautiful eyes, beautiful lies…you’re killing me
I would wait for years just to feel you again
I will die without you…would you my love?